Sunday, 15 July 2012

: just a little thought

.... about how practicing bioarchaeology in Indonesia is not easy. Things to deal with are:
1. the lack of possible cases + job ops
2. the lack of gadgetry and the whatnots limit the possibilities of conducting a more advanced research
3. the mountainous amount of needed fees to conduct the research
4. i dont know what else, it's early morning, can't sleep and I tend to ramble when I can't sleep.

I was thinking: that I shouldn't do JUST surface skeletal preservation or observation when faced with skeletal remains collection. But, whenever I am trying to do so, my brain seems to stop working and functioning properly to induce more and more ideas. Why the heck is this happening!? I thought I was appropriately trained to think for myself and to think of -if not over the edge; but nearly at the edge- stuff that I can work on or write a paper about.

Sheeesh, have I lost my mojo in archaeology!? Tsk!

I do not want to keep blaming the system that tells me I shouldn't or couldn't contribute less because I don't have the employee number on my badge. I just want to do something that I like. [and then you will say: "oh my, what a naive person you are, Dee.... doing something that YOU like at YOUR age is nearly unquestionably possible."]

While I still wonder if I would leave a mark somewhere on this field of men. Tsk! By Jane Goodall and Mary Leakey, I hope I will. Ha! Looking up a bit too far there...

A friend of mine left a somewhat insulting remarks about what I do, two nights ago. She said something about how in 10 years she and other people would already moved on from today's crises and in that next 10 years, I would have just started to experience those crises she's having now and she'd like to see how I will handle it. I was like, 'WHAT!?' Did she just thought that I have no crisis at the moment? Have you read any of my crisis writings? Or have you heard me crying in the middle of the night? What I'd like to say to her was, 'well, darling, my crises aren't always about HOUSEHOLD stuff like yours, but I do have my own crisis. And when I dont bitch about YOUR crisis, you have NO RIGHTS  to bitch about mine.' Again and again I will still say that IT IS NOT MY OPTION to get the crisis about household... Ha... why don't you just ADMIT it that you ENVY the options that I take and you are stuck with yours..

but does it occur to your brain that I am STUCK with MINE too??